Emotional Dysregulation In Teenage Girls

Emotional dysregulation takes place when the response of an individual does not appear to be “appropriate” for a particular situation.  This often looks like an “over reaction” to a situation or a prolonged emotional response to a situation.  Emotional dysregulation is not uncommon for adolescent girls and generally plays out in the safety of the home which results in you, as the parent, more often than not being on the receiving end of it. 

Some techniques to try when your teenage daughter appears very emotional:


1. Validation: let your daughter know that you understand she is upset (even if you don’t understand why) and that you know it must be difficult for her to be that upset.
2. Remain calm: this can be very difficult – Speaking in an even, calm voice often results in the other person lowering their voice and calming down.

3. Take space: if you feel yourself ready to blow, there is no reason why you cannot take space for yourself.
4. Don’t feel you have to defend yourself: your teenage daughter may accuse you of things that are not true, say things that are hurtful or exaggerate situations. As the parent, you do not need to help them rationalize these things during an emotional moment.  If you feel it is important to explain yourself (and often times it is not) then it is better to wait and do this during a time when emotions are under control.

5. Teach your daughter calming techniques during non emotional times: it is often helpful for parents to talk to their daughters about ways of remaining calmer during times when things are going well.

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