Do You Lose Your Cool?

How to recognize if you are going to lose your cool because you are so upset with your teen


Let’s face it, your teenager can push your buttons like nobody else can which can result in you exploding. There are some signs you can watch for which likely come before the big explosion which will cue you into the fact that you should calm down before responding.

1. Look for physical cues – what happens to your body when you are getting ready to blow? Some common physical cues are feeling hot, heart beating faster, clenching fists or jaw or feeling tense all over. It is helpful to be able to recognize your physical cues as they are often the earliest warning sign that you are going to lose your cool.

2. Notice if you are raising your voice, slamming things down, slamming doors, etc. These are more obvious signs that you are in a fairly high emotional state.

3. Notice if you are making threats or saying things that are hurtful or things you would not normally say. This is usually a sign that you are feeling desperate to get through to your teenager because you feel like they are not hearing or understanding your point of view.

Being able to recognize these signs early on can help you put the brakes on the situation so that you can take some time to calm down and respond in a thoughtful and productive manner. Generally when we respond out of anger or other strong emotions, we are less effective and less productive in accomplishing whatever we are trying to accomplish.


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