What To Do If You Lose Your Cool

As a parent, there will be times when you lose your cool. Your teenager will frustrate you so much you will react out of emotion and say things you would not normally say, do things you would not normally do or yell and make threats you regret. Your strong emotions likely come for your love and concern for your teen and your worry about them when they are making poor decisions or they are not respecting you or your rules. Again, this happens to most parents, however, what is important is that you recognize it and really make an effort to not allow yourself to react in that way again. Some steps you can take if you have been in this situation:


1. Acknowledge it with your teenager – let them know that you are sorry for being emotional, tell them that you get upset like that because you love them, worry about them, etc. and tell them that you will work hard to make sure you do not respond out of emotions like that again (this is being a great role model for them).

2. Don’t let your guilt about the situation make you give in – you may feel really bad that you were hurtful, however, this does not likely change the situation which resulted in your outburst in the first place. So…you should apologize but not give in out of guilt since consistency is one of the most important tools you have.

3. Make a plan for next time – it is likely that your teen will push your buttons again so it is helpful to have a plan for what you will do the next time. Be able to recognize when you are getting to that point and take a break, leave the room, tell your teen you will talk to them in a little bit when you are feeling calmer, go outside and breath some fresh air, try some deep breathing, etc.


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