Teaching Teens Responsibility

Give your teenagers responsibility. Make sure they have household responsibilities or chores which they are expected to do consistently and for which they are appreciated. Praise your teen for doing their chores consistently which will motivate them to do them ongoing and also improve their sense of belonging and purpose in the home. Teens want to feel important and need to learn what it means to have a commitment and follow through. Teaching this lesson within the home is a great way to begin to instill a sense of responsibility in your teenager.

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Parents Need Time Outs Too!

Parents need time outs too! There are inevitably times when you will have a strong reaction, feel overwhelmed or feel “out of control” due to your teen’s behaviors. In such situations, it can be very helpful to take a time out. You might go for a walk, go in the bathroom and take a bath or run cold water on your face, go for a drive, go to a quiet place in the house and read a book – the important things is that you take a break from whatever is causing the stress so that you can feel calmer before reacting or responding to the situation. Doing this will make your response more appropriate and meaningful to your teen.

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They Are Not "Bad Kids"

Don’t ever tell your teen they are a “bad kid”. In addition, don’t treat them like they are a “bad kid”. If your teen believes this is how you feel about them, they will live up to (or in this case, down to) your expectation and they will play the role of a “bad kid”. No matter how hard things get or how frustrating their behaviors are, you should continue to notice the positives in them. They will sense that you do not look down on them and that you still see their positive qualities. It can make a huge difference in their overall self perception and identity, even if they are having some other difficulties.

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Protect But Don't Overprotect

As a parent you want to protect your child and make sure they are safe, however, you do not want to become overprotective. Overprotective parents don’t allow their child to experience the normal challenges of life which may result in disappointment, failure and sadness. In addition, being overprotective can result in teenagers not experiencing the natural consequences of poor decision making which is a valuable lesson to learn. It is important to see the value in children experiencing both life’s ups and downs and appreciating the life lessons they learn in both.

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Get To Know Their Friends and Connect

Invite your teenager’s friends to dinner. This is a great way to connect with your teenager and also to let them know that you are interested in what is important to them. It is important to make sure you do not embarrass your teenager with too many questions or embarrassing stories from their past when meeting their friends (and remember, they are very sensitive!) or else they will make sure they keep their friends away in the future.

Connecting With Your Teenager

Even if your teenager is pulling away, it is important to work to spend quality time checking in with them with them each and every day. Knowing your teenager – what they like, don’t like, how they are doing in school and with friends makes a big difference in the overall impact of your parenting. Make sure you are checking in with your teenager (while not being overbearing), even if they respond in a way that makes you feel like you are a nuisance.

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