What If I Don't "Like" My Teen?

Do you ever feel like you don’t “like” your teenager? If so, you likely also feel very guilty for even thinking like this. If you have had or are having this thought, you are not alone. When parents feel that they do not “like” their teens it is because they are overwhelmed, frustrated and feel disrespected. Generally parents in this situation love their teens very much which is what causes the strong emotions to arise. As a parent, you want what is best for your teenager and when you see them living in opposition to your values and rules, it can cause you to really not want to be around them or to have a lot of anger towards them. If you are feeling like this, try sitting down and making a list of the things you like about them and the things they are doing that you don’t like. This will help put things in perspective and will remind you that what you don’t like is their behaviors rather than their whole being. Reframing your feelings and understanding that you don’t like their behaviors (rather than not liking them as a person) can help with your overall frustration level and can eliminate the guilt you may be feeling if having negative emotions towards your teen.

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Don't Sweat The Small Stuff

Don’t sweat the small stuff. If you notice that it seems like you are fighting with your teen constantly, it may be because you are so frustrated with your teen that you are critical or disapproving of almost everything they do. In a calm moment, think about what things you argue about that you can let go for now in an effort to decrease the overall tension and conflict in your house. For example, you likely want to stand firm with your rules about curfew but maybe can let go of arguing about whether they make their bed every day. Try thinking about this for a bit and see what you can come up with.

Go to Elite Life Coaching for additional parenting resources and to get information on our coaching packages and specials!

Praise Your Teen

As difficult as this can be at times, praising your teenager can make a significant difference in your relationship with them.  What parents often struggle with is finding something to praise when there are so many behaviors they would like to see changed.  While this is true and working on the negative behaviors needs to happen ongoing, it is also important that you notice the things they are doing right and the things you appreciate about them.  "Catch Them Being Good!".  Take a few moments and think about something that your teen has done recently that you appreciate or something about them as a person that you appreciate and then think about how you can share this with them. 

Go to Elite Life Coaching for additional parenting resources and to get information on our coaching packages and specials!