Teenage Depression

Be aware of some of the more common signs of teenage depression (just because your teen has some of these symptoms does not necessarily mean they are depressed, however, these symptoms likely warrant further investigation): Sadness, anger, irritability, moodiness, loss of energy, withdrawing from people or things they used to enjoy, feelings of worthlessness, missing school, “not caring” anymore about school or personal appearance, somatic complaints. If your teenager is having thoughts of death or suicide you should seek professional support and help immediately and not try to manage this type of situation on your own. If they are experiencing some of the other symptoms mentioned, try to talk with them about what they are experiencing in a supportive manner. If needed, speak with a professional or their doctor to make sure they are not in need of professional support.

Go to Elite Life Coaching for additional parenting resources and to get information on our coaching packages and specials!

Parents Need Time Outs Too!

Parents need time outs too! There are inevitably times when you will have a strong reaction, feel overwhelmed or feel “out of control” due to your teen’s behaviors. In such situations, it can be very helpful to take a time out. You might go for a walk, go in the bathroom and take a bath or run cold water on your face, go for a drive, go to a quiet place in the house and read a book – the important things is that you take a break from whatever is causing the stress so that you can feel calmer before reacting or responding to the situation. Doing this will make your response more appropriate and meaningful to your teen.

Go to Elite Life Coaching for additional parenting resources and to get information on our coaching packages and specials!

They Are Not "Bad Kids"

Don’t ever tell your teen they are a “bad kid”. In addition, don’t treat them like they are a “bad kid”. If your teen believes this is how you feel about them, they will live up to (or in this case, down to) your expectation and they will play the role of a “bad kid”. No matter how hard things get or how frustrating their behaviors are, you should continue to notice the positives in them. They will sense that you do not look down on them and that you still see their positive qualities. It can make a huge difference in their overall self perception and identity, even if they are having some other difficulties.

Go to Elite Life Coaching for additional parenting resources and to get information on our coaching packages and specials!

Protect But Don't Overprotect

As a parent you want to protect your child and make sure they are safe, however, you do not want to become overprotective. Overprotective parents don’t allow their child to experience the normal challenges of life which may result in disappointment, failure and sadness. In addition, being overprotective can result in teenagers not experiencing the natural consequences of poor decision making which is a valuable lesson to learn. It is important to see the value in children experiencing both life’s ups and downs and appreciating the life lessons they learn in both.

Go to Elite Life Coaching for additional parenting resources and to get information on our coaching packages and specials!

Teens Are Expensive!

Does your teenager think you have endless amounts of money? Do they think that you are the worst parent in the world if you won’t give them money for the latest gadget or thing that “everyone else in the whole world has” so therefore they also “have to have”. Teens need to learn delayed gratification and that there are limits to what they can have. Saying no, helping them budget or make choices or helping them wait until a special event are all great ways of teaching your teen the meaning of money and of patience. The key is that if you say no to buying them something, you cannot then “give in” and go buy it because they are continuing to badger you or make you feel guilty about your decision. Be consistent and stick to what you said!


Go to Elite Life Coaching for additional parenting resources and to get information on our coaching packages and specials!

Getting Support For Yourself

You should seek outside help for your teen if they have become violent or aggressive, are regularly using or abusing drugs or alcohol, if they are running away, if they are getting involved with the law, if you are feeling like you need to resort to violence as a means of managing their behavior or if you feel they are engaging in other risky or dangerous behaviors. The consequences of not addressing such behaviors can be significant and parents in this situation are in need of outside, professional support to help get things back on track for their teen and for their family as a whole.

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Saying "NO" And Sticking To It

Learning to say “NO” to your teenager can be a huge challenge. Teenagers don’t like hearing the word NO and can be pretty creative in getting parents to change their minds or in wearing their parents down until they say “YES”. While this can be an exhausting process at first – it is important that if you say NO to something that you stand firm in your decision. Get support from others if needed but after a several times of saying NO and really meaning it (meaning you don’t give in or change your mind), your teen will learn that NO really does mean NO and they will stop their efforts to badger you and wear you down.

For further information or to sign up for our free bi-weekly newsletter go to the Elite Life Coaching website.

Addressing Suspicions of Substance Use or Abuse

If you suspect your teenager is using drugs or alcohol, you should not look the other way. In addition, you should not address this issue with them unless your own emotions are under control. The most effective approach is when parents confront their teens with suspicions or concerns of substance use in a calm and supportive manner, letting their teen know they are worried, but also that they still love them and don’t think negatively of them as a person for using substances.

For further information or to sign up for our free bi-weekly newsletter go to the Elite Life Coaching website.

Validating Your Teenager

How do you “validate your teenager”? This is a skill that improves over time. It is being able to tell them you appreciate how they are feeling about something whether you agree or disagree. For example: saying, “that must be really hard to have your friend push you away the way they are doing” instead of saying, “you should be glad that person does not want to be friends with you anyway, they were nothing but trouble”. In the first example, you are telling your teenager that you are hearing what they are saying and that you understand which goes a long, long way with teens!

For further information or to sign up for our free bi-weekly newsletter go to the Elite Life Coaching website.

Just Listen To Them

Many parents struggle with getting their teenager to talk to them, which is ironic because teenagers are usually pretty self absorbed and think they are at the center of the world. A tip to get your teenager to talk to you is to just listen. Don’t judge or try to give lectures or advice (unless they are asking) but rather just listen, show interest and validate what they are saying.

For further information or to sign up for our free bi-weekly newsletter go to the Elite Life Coaching website.

Get To Know Their Friends and Connect

Invite your teenager’s friends to dinner. This is a great way to connect with your teenager and also to let them know that you are interested in what is important to them. It is important to make sure you do not embarrass your teenager with too many questions or embarrassing stories from their past when meeting their friends (and remember, they are very sensitive!) or else they will make sure they keep their friends away in the future.

Giving Teens Choices

Giving teens choices is important. This helps them learn to make healthy decisions and learn to deal with the natural consequences of their choices. Try to think of areas where you can give your teen choices which may stop them from arguing about everything while also helping them learn responsibility.

For further information or to sign up for our free bi-weekly newsletter go to the Elite Life Coaching website.

Connecting With Your Teenager

Even if your teenager is pulling away, it is important to work to spend quality time checking in with them with them each and every day. Knowing your teenager – what they like, don’t like, how they are doing in school and with friends makes a big difference in the overall impact of your parenting. Make sure you are checking in with your teenager (while not being overbearing), even if they respond in a way that makes you feel like you are a nuisance.

For further information or to sign up for our free bi-weekly newsletter go to the Elite Life Coaching website.