Is Your Teen Old Enough To Be Left Home Along?

Although scary, many parents are able to leave their teenagers home alone without a lot of worry while others cringe at the thought. Below are some things to think about when making the decision whether to leave your teenager home alone:


1. Are they typically responsible and do they typically follow your rules?

2. Do they demonstrate self control most of the time?

3. Is your neighborhood safe?

4. Is your teenager comfortable being home alone and understand the dangers of letting others in or opening the door for others?

5. Is your teenager responsible enough to not leave the stove on, etc?

6. Does your teenager respect your private place in the home so that they are not likely to go through your personal things in your bedroom or home office?

7. Are you confident your teenager will call you if needing something or if there is a problem?

8. What does your gut tell you about leaving your teenager home alone – are they really ready?


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Responsible Versus Overprotective Parenting

Of course you want to see your child succeed and will work hard to make sure they have all the opportunities they deserve. However, it is important to make sure that in wanting the best for your child that you are not being overprotective. The danger in being overprotective is that your child may not learn how to be responsible for themselves, may not learn that there are natural consequences for their behavior and may not learn the lesson that hard work can pay off. Signs that you may be overprotective of your teenager are:


• You will do whatever it takes to see your child successful

• You make excuses for your teen and blame others for things that go wrong

• You “rescue” your teenager – you bail them out of difficult situations every time

• You are always going out of your way to make your teenager happy

• You minimize problems that your teenager is having or you try to rationalize their behaviors

• You try to always be liked by your teenager and give in to all their requests – even when you don’t agree

• You try to “appease” your teen and rescue them form difficult feelings – you never allow them to sit with uncomfortable feelings

If you notice that you are doing some or all of these things, you may want to consider allowing your teenager to fail sometimes or experiences the real consequences of their decisions so that they learn how to take responsibility for their actions as well as learn how to take action to change situations they do not like instead of always relying on you to do so.



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Praise Your Teen

As difficult as this can be at times, praising your teenager can make a significant difference in your relationship with them.  What parents often struggle with is finding something to praise when there are so many behaviors they would like to see changed.  While this is true and working on the negative behaviors needs to happen ongoing, it is also important that you notice the things they are doing right and the things you appreciate about them.  "Catch Them Being Good!".  Take a few moments and think about something that your teen has done recently that you appreciate or something about them as a person that you appreciate and then think about how you can share this with them. 

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Be Consistent!

Does your teenager think you have endless amounts of money? Do they think that you are the worst parent in the world if you won’t give them money for the latest gadget or thing that “everyone else in the whole world has” so therefore they also “have to have”. Teens need to learn delayed gratification and that there are limits to what they can have. Saying no, helping them budget or make choices or helping them wait until a special event are all great ways of teaching your teen the meaning of money and of patience. The key is that if you say no to buying them something, you cannot then “give in” and go buy it because they are continuing to badger you or make you feel guilty about your decision. Be consistent and stick to what you said!



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Don't Make Empty Threats

Don’t make meaningless threats with your teenagers. Every parent falls into this sometimes but it is important to try not to do this because it invalidates you and causes your teenager to not take what you are saying seriously. Don’t tell your teen you will ground them in their room for a month – the reality is that this is impossible and you will not be able to follow through. Make sure that when you are discussing consequences with your teenager that you are confident you CAN and WILL follow through with them.

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Teens Driving

Thinking about your teenager driving is a scary thing. Teens can be impulsive and often times they think that they are invincible. It is important that if you are allowing your teen to take your car out (or any car for that matter) that you clearly review your expectations and give them the choice to behave responsibly or lose the privilege of driving. Things to reinforce are no speeding, seatbelts at all times, being home on time, no tickets and keeping you informed of their whereabouts when out in your car. It is reasonable to expect them to call you and check in until you feel that you can trust them and they are acting responsibly. Having your teenager out driving can be one of the most stressful experiences for parents so you are not alone if you are feeling this way.

Go to Elite Life Coaching for additional parenting resources and to get information on our coaching packages and specials!

Enjoy Your Teen

Enjoy your teenager. Make sure that despite any frustrations or stress they are causing you, that you take time to laugh, appreciate their strengths and tell them about it. Positive energy is contagious so be positive about their uniqueness and appreciate what they have to offer the world.

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Parents Need To Agree

It is critical that your teenager never sees you openly disagree about rules or consequences with your spouse or co-parent. While there may be times when you have differing opinions about a particular situation, it is important that you have such discussion away from your teenager so that they experience consistency and know that you will support one another’s decisions. Not doing this will likely result in your teenager playing one of you against the other which can cause significant conflict and additional stress in your lives.

Go to Elite Life Coaching for additional parenting resources and to get information on our coaching packages and specials!

Teaching Teens Responsibility

Give your teenagers responsibility. Make sure they have household responsibilities or chores which they are expected to do consistently and for which they are appreciated. Praise your teen for doing their chores consistently which will motivate them to do them ongoing and also improve their sense of belonging and purpose in the home. Teens want to feel important and need to learn what it means to have a commitment and follow through. Teaching this lesson within the home is a great way to begin to instill a sense of responsibility in your teenager.

Go to Elite Life Coaching for additional parenting resources and to get information on our coaching packages and specials!

Does My Teenager Have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)?

Have you ever wondered if your teenager has ADD? Signs of ADD can include:  being easily distracted by sounds or motions, forgetting appointments, losing track of time, forgetting where things are, forgetting tasks including homework or chores, short attention span, trouble remembering things learned, frequent daydreaming or trouble focusing or remembering things in general despite having a desire to do so. If you are concerned that your teenager has ADD, it is good to get a professional opinion as there are good treatment options, both with medication and with therapy which can teach your teen techniques to help them manage their symptoms without medication.

Go to Elite Life Coaching for additional parenting resources and to get information on our coaching packages and specials!

Teens And Lies

Are you concerned that your teen lies a lot? Or even if not telling blatant lies, that they tell half-truths, omit information, provide confusing information or pretend they don’t recall the facts? This can be very frustrating to say the least. If you feel your teenager is lying a lot, you should address it head on. Let them know that it upsets you and disappoints you because you want to have an open and trusting relationship with them. Be clear with them what the consequences for lying will be and make sure you follow through with these consequences consistently.

Go to Elite Life Coaching for additional parenting resources and to get information on our coaching packages and specials!

Rules And Consequences - Involve Your Teen

Have you ever tried to include your teenager in establishing fair rules and consequences? Sometimes this is really powerful and significantly reduces arguments when rules are broken. If doing this, it should be during a calm time when the whole family can sit together and be thoughtful. Most importantly, whether rules and consequences are created with or without your teenager, it is important that you are always consistent and that your teen is clear about what is OK and what is not OK before the rules are broken.

Go to Elite Life Coaching for additional parenting resources and to get information on our coaching packages and specials!

Teens And Stress

Does your teenager seem to be stressed out all the time? There is a lot of pressure on teens these days and they can feel the emotional and physical effects of stress just like adults do. If your teen is stressed out you may try the following things: help them make sure they have healthy eating and sleeping habits, help them limit caffeine and sugar, role model for them how to relax (do yoga, go play a sport with them, go for a walk, read, etc) and most importantly check in with them. Validate what they are feeling, help them label it and then support them in managing it.

Go to Elite Life Coaching for additional parenting resources and to get information on our coaching packages and specials!

Oppositional Defiant Disorder

If your teenager seems to have chronic anger, hostility, defiance or aggression, they may have Oppositional Defiant Disorder. This is a set of behavior patterns that usually develops sometime between the ages of 7 and 13 and which can grow increasing concerning as teens get older. If you feel your teenager may fit this category, you should have them meet with a professional who can help you distinguish what is going on (whether it is normal adolescence or a more serious issue) and who can also provide treatment as needed. Treatment for these issues usually involves behavior modification therapy to help teens change their overall patterns of behavior. Not addressing this issue can result in your teen having significant difficulties at home, in school and with peers.

Go to Elite Life Coaching for additional parenting resources and to get information on our coaching packages and specials!

Parenting With Your Ex

Being able to co-parent a teenager following a divorce or separation can be very difficult, however, it is really important that you and your ex are able to work cooperatively in the eyes of your teen. Sometimes communicating via a neutral party or via email or text is easier for ex-partners than trying to have ongoing conversations. Remember to always do what is best for your child, not what is best for you. Your child wants to have a positive relationship with both their parents and it is important that both parents allow for and support this which may mean making compromises or not “winning” certain disagreements. Putting your child first will pay off in the long run and you will spare them the lasting and sometimes significant effects of being placed in the middle of a divorce.

Go to Elite Life Coaching for additional parenting resources and to get information on our coaching packages and specials!