Listening and Talking To Your Teen

Teenagers today have more opportunities to make bad decisions than they did in years past – the world is a scarier place and it is easier for teens to access thing as well as for others to gain access to them. This is all the more reason that you must be a positive, consistent person in your teenager’s daily life. Listen to them without immediate judgment, lecturing or advising. If you are too quick to offer your advice or judge them, they are more likely to shut down because they will not feel heard which can be very important for teens. Even though they may never tell you, teens find comfort in knowing their parents are consistently there and accepting of them. Feeling this will decrease the chances that they will go elsewhere to seek this acceptance which often times can lead to significant problems.

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Validating Your Teenager

How do you “validate your teenager”? This is a skill that improves over time. It is being able to tell them you appreciate how they are feeling about something whether you agree or disagree. For example: saying, “that must be really hard to have your friend push you away the way they are doing” instead of saying, “you should be glad that person does not want to be friends with you anyway, they were nothing but trouble”. In the first example, you are telling your teenager that you are hearing what they are saying and that you understand which goes a long, long way with teens!

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