Improve Communication With "Door Openers"

“Door Openers" versus“Door Slammers”:  Door Openers are phrases and words which are open ended and allow your teenager to share their thoughts and feelings on a subject.  For example:  “Do you want to talk about it?”, “What do you think about this?”, “I think you may be able to help us out with this, what are your ideas?”  These phrases let your teen know you value what they think and does not send them the message that you are trying to control them.  Door Slammers are phrases and words that shut down conversations and make teenagers feel powerless or unimportant.  For example:  “That is none of your business”, “I don’t care what your friends are able to do”, “Don’t come crying to me when you mess this up”, “We are not going to talk about this again”.  These phrases and words generally come out during times of frustration (and are very normal so don’t feel bad if you have used them) but generally create more tension and frustration for teens who are already feeling confused and powerless in their lives. 
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